Day Three – Captain’s Log

Blue Jean Baby, LA Lady…Seamstress for the band…

Today started out with the pleasant surprise of meeting an infant milestone — Isabela slept through the night for the first time!!! Before you think that the end of our sleep deprivation is near, anyone with kids knows that “sleep through the night” in infant terms does not have the same meaning as sleep through the night for adults. According to What to Expect, Baby Wise, Happiest Baby on the Block and the other “how to” baby books my wife makes me read, 6 hours is a full nights sleep for a baby under 3 months.  Nonetheless, progress has been made.  Thanks to Isabela’s unexpected present, we started out on our seven hour tour of Interstate 95 a bit less blearly-eyed than usual.  As we spent the entire day in the car, there is not much to report on the culinary front (our pit stop at Cracker Barrel does not warrant anything more than the mention that it was Amy’s first time experiencing a Cracker Barrel and “chicken and dumplings” (she actually asked me why they were not the same shape as the Chinese ones at Hakkasan, Love Her).

With not much to do and 1200 miles into our trip, we started to amass quite a list of things that make you think twice.  Here is a list of our top ten:

10. You really appreciate a good musical playlist after listening to five hours of talk radio hosts from last night’s political debate;

9. There is a Cracker Barrel every three exits from Miami to Virginia and each Cracker Barrel is located across the street from a Waffle House. And how do you play that dam pyramid game anyway;

Triangular Peg Solitaire

8. “South of the Border” does not only refer to Tijuana, Mexico or Tequila but is a large, kitschy attraction off 95 on the border of North and South Carolina. This South of the Border includes a truck stop, steak house, motel, game room, 50 foot Mexican statues that look as if they could have been used to smuggle in shipments of powdered lipstick, a tchotchke shop and a small amusement park that reminds of me of those childhood “pop-up” county fairs where you would beg your parents to let ride on the tilt a whirl but they would refuse out of fear that the mechanic was a high school drop out who failed auto shop. (FYI- if you are thinking of making a trip to South of the Border note that much of it appears closed — think Wally World in Chevy Chase’s Vacation;

7. Why does Words With Friends have a player limit? If Alec Baldwin can play at 30,000 feet then you should be able to play as many people as you want;

6. When Amy is driving she cannot take her hands off the wheel because she is too tiny to steer with her knee;

5. Most Southern food is overly salty and abundantly sweet (same goes for the locals);

4. What is the point of parking on your lawn next to a perfectly good and empty driveway;

3. “They see me rollin’, They hatin,’ Patrollin,’ And tryin to catch me ridin dirty.” — Isabela gives new meaning to Chamilionair’s lyrics;

2. Real Housewives will not be making casting calls in Lincolnville, South Carolina; and

1. The closer you are to the highway the worse the boiled peanut!

Tomorrow we are on to NYC. Captain out.


4 thoughts on “Day Three – Captain’s Log

  1. Mom

    Love your stories! So glad Amy has had her first experience at Cracker Barrel. That is truly a southern experience – next is trying grits 😊. Btw You loved south of the border when you were 3 on our way to NY and begged us to stop so you could ride Pedro! I guess you grew out of it! Keep your stories coming…
    Love to all – Mom


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